Your Kid Is Obsessed with Being Liked and Followed
The belief that you have value that doesn't depend on performance, appearance, or approval.
Your kid is preoccupied with follower counts, likes, views, or online validation, to the point where it's shaping their mood, their choices, or what they're willing to do or say to get attention.
Engagement algorithms are specifically designed to reward whatever gets the most reaction, which often means the most extreme, most provocative, or most performative version of your kid.
Don't dismiss the importance of being seen. It's a real human need. The conversation is about where they're looking to meet it.
"How do you feel after you check your likes? Because I've been watching — and I want to talk about what I've noticed."
"I want to talk about something I've observed — not to criticize you, but because I think it's worth thinking about together. The way online numbers seem to affect your mood has caught my attention, and I want to understand it from your side."
"Those people don't even know you — why do you care what they think?": Dismisses something that feels genuinely significant to them. The feeling is real even if the source is manufactured.
"The number on a screen doesn't know who you actually are. The people in your real life do. I want to make sure you're building something real — not optimizing for something that resets every time you post."
Try a one-week experiment together: they post something they genuinely care about with no checking of metrics for 48 hours after posting. The goal is to separate the creating from the measuring.
Have a direct conversation about the creator economy, the very small percentage of people who actually make sustainable income from followers, and what it costs them to do it.