HEARTS · Emotions & Mental HealthAges 9–14

Your Kid Is Being Bullied

Trait under pressure: Courage

Acting despite fear. Not the absence of doubt, the decision to move forward anyway.

Use this when

Your kid tells you they're being bullied, you hear it from another parent or the school, or you notice signs, withdrawal, faking illness, not wanting to go to school, sudden changes in mood or behavior.

Why this is harder now

Online bullying follows kids home, never turns off, and AI tools now allow bullies to generate fake images or impersonate their targets at scale.

🔍
Parent Pre-Check

Your instinct is to fix it. Their instinct is to control it. Follow their lead on what to do, but make sure they know you're fully in their corner.

The Scripts
Direct Hit
When you catch them or have 30 seconds

"I heard something happened. I'm not reacting — I just need you to tell me what's going on."

Slow Burn
For a car ride or a planned conversation

"I want to hear about what's been happening from you — not from anyone else. I'm not going to jump in with solutions right away. I just want to understand what it's actually been like."

When Your Kid Pushes Back
What your kid says
Your response
"It's not a big deal. I can handle it."
"I believe you're trying to. But you don't have to handle it alone. Tell me what's been going on — I'll follow your lead on what to do next."
"If you do anything it'll make it worse."
"That's a real concern and I hear it. I'm not going to do anything without talking to you first. But I do need to understand what we're dealing with."
"I don't want to be a snitch."
"Telling a parent isn't snitching. Snitching is getting someone in trouble over nothing. What's happening to you isn't nothing."
🚫 Don't Say This

"Just ignore them — they'll stop.": They won't, and this makes your kid feel alone and unheard. It also suggests their experience is smaller than it is.

The Close
End with this

"What's happening to you is not okay and it's not your fault. I'm on your side — and I'm going to stay on your side. We're going to figure this out together and I won't move without you."

The Follow-Up
What to do next

Give it 24 hours before deciding on any action. Document everything they share, dates, what was said or done, who was involved. Then decide together what the first step is. Involve the school only after you and your child have agreed on an approach.

⚠️ Escalate Immediately If

The bullying involves threats of physical harm, sexual content, or your child seems afraid for their safety. Contact the school principal and, if threats are credible, local law enforcement the same day.

↑ Ages 15+

Ask whether it's happening online. Screenshot and preserve evidence before reporting, platforms remove content quickly. If it's image-based or involves impersonation, this may qualify as a crime.

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